Network Christians

Woman Alive Spotlight Interview with Susan Ashman

How long have you been involved in Network?

I joined Network Christians way back in '99 after seeing the adverts for the previous 4 years.  (Sometimes it takes time to build the courage to join these things!) Having come to my first event equipped with a well thought out escape plan, I was surprised how much I relaxed and enjoying meeting the people there so I carried on coming.  I went to new places, met lots of interesting people from all walks of life, and made some good friends along the way.  Being inspired by the work of David & Gill Ruffle, the founders of Network I decided to set up a local branch of the organisation .  When David & Gill decided to retire I offered to step into their shoes and the rest, as they say, is history.

Has there been any particular highlights or encouragements you can share?

I’m especially pleased that most of the friends I made in my early years of Network have now married Christian partners.   It was also a delight to give congratulations to seven couples in our latest newsletter.     I’m also encouraged that more couples that have met through Network Christians want “to give something back” and continue to help us in our mission.  Of course, it’s great to when people come together, but Network Christians is also there to provide a social network for those who remain single.  So I’m very pleased when single people tell me what a difference it has made in their lives. 

How do you think the singles scene has changed over the last 21 years?

There have been big changes, especially over the last 5 years and this is reflected in Christian circles too.  On the positive….

·      The Internet has changed the world and is also enabling thousands of single Christians to make contact with other Christians that they would otherwise have never met. 

·      More people are recognizing the growing population of single people and the effects that has for the nation and in particular the church.

·      There is a growing interest among church leaders regarding the challenges faced by single Christians. 

·      More churches are encouraging their single people to take practical steps in finding a Christian partner and recommending services like Network Christians.

·      The stigma of singleness is reducing along with the stigma of “looking for a partner”.

However, there is no room for complacency as …

·      The majority of single Christian people are likely to feel misunderstood and undervalued as people.   

·      The exodus of men from the church is alarming… particularly for single women!

·      Most single Christian people and their Church leaders are simply unaware of the services available to them.

What advice would you give to someone who was struggling as a single person?

Ultimately we all need to feel understood and cared for.  This is particularly so when we are down, so having a support network of friends who are empathetic can help us to feel a whole heap better. 

However, we also need to take steps to improve the situation that causes us unhappiness.  These could be:

·      Building a supportive network of friends. We all need companionship so go out of your way to nurture friendships that do you good.  These might be in your church or in a Ch ristian Singles Group.

·      Improving your opportunities of making new friends and meeting a mate.  If you are in a rut you need to do some different things.  How about trying Christian internet dating, joining your local health club, taking up dancing or going on a Christian Holiday.  For ideas I’d recommend Dr. Henry Cloud’s “How to get a date worth keeping” as a good read.    

·      Caring for our own physical, spiritual and emotional health.  As well as adding activities to your life you may also need to leave those that overly burden you behind.  

·      Taking time out to draw nearer to God.  Grow in an understanding of yourself and your faith.  “In quietness and trust is your strength” Isaiah 30 v 15. 

What are your hopes for the future of Network Christians?

With the help of our members we are expanding the range of events we offer -both in terms of their frequency and the areas they cover.  In the future we also hope to provide resources and training for Church leaders.  My hope is that single people will enjoy our events and be inspired to work with us as we build Networks of single Christians throughout the UK. 

Susan Ashman is the director of Network Christians, an organisation providing holidays and social events for single Christians in the UK.  For further information please ring 01584 876116, e-mail info@networkchristians.com or take a look at www.networkchristians.com .